Dr. Zimmerman's TUESDAY TIP: Tip: It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

Tuesday's Tip

February 24, 2009

Issue 454

What Dr. Alan Zimmerman Has To Say:

For several years now, in numerous Tuesday Tips, I've written about professional success and personal achievement. I've outlined exactly what you have to do to become a winner, a champion, and a sportive thinker.

However, the road to success is filled with potholes. You will encounter obstacles and experience setbacks. You will make some mistakes and have some failures .... because the road to success will never be straight, smooth, and unobstructed all the time.

And all truly successful people know that ...

1. MISTAKES AND FAILURES ARE SIMPLY A PART OF THE JOURNEY TO SUCCESS.

George Washington knew that. Even though he is known as a brilliant general, he only won two battles in his whole career.

Thomas Edison was thrown out of elementary school when his teachers decided he could not do the work. And when he was trying to invent electric light, he made thousands of "mistakes" before he had any success.

Gail Borden made countless business blunders before he achieved success with condensed milk. Levi Strauss made the mistake of selling his entire supply of dry goods, leaving him with nothing but canvas to manufacture pants.

R. H. Macy failed seven times before his store in New York City caught on. Novelist John Creasey got 753 rejection slips before he published the first of his 564 books.

Harry S. Truman failed as a haberdasher. Milton Hershey failed more than once in the candy-making business before finding success with the Hershey bar. And when Bob Dylan performed a high school talent show, his classmates booed him off the platform.

So if you've made a mistake or two or thousand, I say, "Congratulations. You're in great company. If nothing else, you're on the road to success." As one person said, "Everyone is a darn fool for at least 5 minutes every day. Wisdom consists in not exceeding this limit."

You see ...
2. SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE KEEP ON TAKING ACTION ... DESPITE THEIR MISTAKES.

There are very few if any ways to be an instant success without making your share of mistakes. But successful people are successful because they adhere to a little-known secret. They know their ultimate success has more to do with how many actions they take than the mistakes they make.

Success is connected to action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes but they don't quit. Tammy Williams learned that when she came to my two-day “Journey To The Extraordinary” experience. She wrote, “As a result of your class, I have taken some major risks in the last few months. I quit my job as a Sales Engineer for a construction company, got myself back into school, and accepted a position with a church. Your class helped me look inside to see what is really important and how I wanted to live the second half of my life. Thank you for this amazing experience and the knowledge you shared. You gave me the support and courage I needed to take all these risks. And as a result, this has become my best year ever!”

The same goes for you. This can be your best year ever, and the second half of your life can be the best half ... if you take some action. And one action you could take is get yourself enrolled in the next “Journey To The Extraordinary” experience coming to Minneapolis on June 11-12, 2009. Go to http://www.Journey-To-The-Extraordinary.com for more information.

Bottom line ... successful people know the value of taking action ... despite their mistakes or setbacks. As President Franklin Roosevelt said, "It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something."

And Benjamin Franklin, one of this country's greatest figures, once said, "The man who does things makes many mistakes, but he never makes the biggest mistake of all -- doing nothing."

That's because ...

3. YOUR RESPONSE TO YOUR MISTAKE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE MISTAKE ITSELF.

The author Joseph Fort Newton wrote about that. He said, "We cannot tell what may happen to us in the strange medley of life. But we can decide what happens in us ... how we can take it, what we can do with it ... and that is what really counts in the end."

Absolutely. Some people make a mistake or have a setback, and they give up. Other people who experience the same difficulty get charged up to do something about it. That's why master juggler Rob Peck says, "Disappointments are the pits. But pits are also seeds!" That's why Peck says, "To err is human ... to recover divine!" So true.

So when troubles come your way, look at your response. Do you get depressed, lose your self-esteem, or find yourself demoitvated? Do you blame someone else or try to justify your behavior? Well none of that works. As a French proverb goes, "Justifying a fault doubles it."

Accept the fact you made a mistake and not a disaster. And if you need to get by the negative self-talk that often goes with making a mistake, get a copy of my MP3 recording called "Self-Esteem: When You Tune Up Your Image You Turn Up Your Results" by going to http://www.drzimmerman.com/tools/productinfo/self%20esteem.htm You can download it to your I-Pod and have it within minutes.

so you can ...

4. LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES.

The truth is ... everyone makes mistakes. But the key distinguishing factor between a winner and a loser is the fact the winner LEARNS from his mistakes. Charles Garfield reported that in his classic book on "Peak Performers." He noted, "When high achievers get less than the results they plan for and work toward, they allow the normal human feelings of disappointment, or anger, or fatigue to pass; then they start analyzing. They search for information in the
situation: Where are we now? What went wrong? Why? Where are we headed? How do we get there? Even when circumstances are totally beyond their control, peak performers learn what they can from an experience so as not to knock their heads against that wall again."

Mistakes and failures CAN be helpful. And winners LEARN from them. As author Brian Tracy notes, "The difficulties that we have to face in life are put on our path not to obstruct ... but to instruct."

Tom Watson, Sr., exemplified that in his leadership style. As the guiding hand in the success of IBM for forty years, he knew the value of learning from mistakes. One year a young executive was given responsibility for a project that cost over $10 million. As it turned out, the idea failed, and when the young man was called in, he offered his resignation. "You can't be serious," said Watson. "We just spent $10 million educating you."

Even the folk humorist Will Rogers knew about the potential value of mistakes. He said, "Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment."

As you pursue your dreams and goals, just remember, it's better to attempt something great and fail than attempt nothing and succeed.

ACTION:

Write down three mistakes you've made ... or failures you've experienced ... in the last month. And write down what you learned from each of those situations.

Make it a great week!
Dr. Alan Zimmerman


©Dr. Alan R. Zimmerman, 20550 Lake Ridge Drive, Prior Lake, MN 55372. Reprinted with permission from Dr. Zimmerman's "Tuesday Tip," a weekly Internet newsletter. For your own personal subscription, go to http://www.drzimmerman.com/
Contact: Alan@DrZimmerman.com
Telephone: (800) 621-7881
web site: www.DrZimmerman.com

Dr. Zimmerman's TUESDAY TIP: “Focus more on your desire than on your doubt, and the dream will take care of itself.”

Tuesday's Tip: February 17, 2009

Issue 453

What Dr. Alan Zimmerman Has To Say:

How are you living your life? There are only two ways you can do it. You can live a life of condemnation or confidence.

Peter Maughan was living a life of condemnation but learned how to turn it into confidence. As an employee of one of the greatest insurance companies in this country, he wrote to tell me, "I have been a very quiet person my entire life and have never had the drive to speak or carry on a conversation to save my life. It had not been a real problem until about 4 years ago. I have worked as a Technical Analyst in some capacity with most of that time spent working on hardware or software which did not require me to have conversations as most equipment did not talk back."

Peter continued, "Then about 4 years ago, my boss decided to start moving the duties around in the area where I worked. I had to meet with various business areas and people. As you could imagine, I did not do well in this type of environment. After several months of this, my boss called me in and told me that I was not performing up to standard. I was being put on notice for this and could be fired if I did not improve."

"My first reaction was to blame my boss for all of my problems. After a couple of weeks of feeling sorry for myself, I decided that I would have to change or look for a new job. I went into my boss' office and asked for suggestions on how I could improve. My boss suggested I join a Toastmaster club. I did, and what a difference that made."

"At first, I was very uncomfortable giving presentations. I would start sweating, get dizzy and lose focus. I don't even remember what my first speech was about. All I remember was my knocking knees, sweaty palms, and trying not to pass out. As I went through the process of giving speeches, it got easier each time. After 2 years I was able to reach my goal of becoming a Certified Toastmaster and have set new goals to continue giving speeches."

"I am now part of conversations and not sitting on the sidelines. I lead several technical teams on several different efforts. I am no longer afraid to talk to people and can carry on a conversation. I still have a long way to go, but my wife is totally amazed at the change that I have made. She claims that I am not the same person that she married."

Peter learned how to move from condemnation to confidence. Have you? Let me suggest five steps you might want to take.

1. UNDERSTAND THE TWO KILLERS OF CONFIDENCE.

The first one is UNRESOLVED GUILT. If you've done some things you're not proud of ... or if you've failed to tackle some of the opportunities that have come your way ... you may have feelings of guilt about that. And if you keep it inside, you're going to feel miserable and be powerless.

I was reminded of that when I saw a sign in an auto repair shop. It said, "A clean engine produces more power." Well that's true. But it's also true for human beings.

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, the author of all the Sherlock Holmes stories, played a prank one day to see how guilt can influence people. He sent a note to 12 prominent Englishmen ... the same note ... that simply said, "All is found out. Flee at once." And within 24 hours, 8 of those men left the country. They were dealing with some unresolved guilt.

And the second thing that will kill off your confidence is UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS. You might call it perfectionism ... the belief that you must be flawless, perfect, please everyone, and feel guilty if you relax.

If this sounds like you, some of your favorite phrases are probably such things as "I must ... I have to ... and ... I ought." You always feel the need to do more and achieve more.

You see ... if you're a regular person with a To-Do list with five things, at the end of the day you may say, "I finished 3 of those items, made some progress on another item, but didn't get anywhere on the last item." But you go home and feel okay about your progress. By contrast, a perfectionist has 29 things on his To-Do list, gets 28 of them done, and goes home feeling like a failure.

So how can you replace condemnation with confidence?

One of my esteemed customers, Bill Pence, has an answer. He's in the Enterprise Services and Support Skill Center for an insurance company. He says, "I've been profoundly impacted by the importance of attitude in successful people, not only in the workplace, but outside of the workplace as well. I believe the most significant decision I can make on a day-to-day basis is my choice of attitude."

I agree. So how do you get that attitude of confidence?

2. FORGIVE YOURSELF.

Everybody makes mistakes. Everybody!!!

The difference is ... champions look at their mistakes, learn from their mistakes, forgive themselves, and move on. As first-lady Eleanor Roosevelt said, when asked how she accomplished so much, "I never waste time with regrets."

By contrast, losers stare at their mistakes ... and stare and stare and stare. They don't move on. They're stuck in self-condemnation.

Well let me tell you ... it won't help you one bit to keep on berating yourself, punishing yourself, or hating yourself for the mistakes you've made. In fact, the MORE you put yourself down, the LESS likely it is that you will ever have a happy life or a productive career.

Self-condemnation is like driving your car by looking in the rear-view mirror. You're going to run into more problems.

As Dr. Bev Smallwood says, "The rear-view mirror is much smaller than the windshield for a good reason. Their size is in proportion to the amount of time the driver should spend looking at them. Yes, you need to glance at the rear view to see what's coming up behind you. However, the majority of your driving time must be spent looking ahead, keeping your eyes on where you're headed - not where you've been."

So how do you get past self-condemnation? How can you learn to forgive yourself? Use a confidence-building affirmation. In her book, "This Wasn't Supposed To Happen To Me," Smallwood suggests telling yourself, "This day, I release myself from the burden of self-condemnation and destructive guilt. I withdraw from the internal conversations with the voice that reminds me of my shortcomings and past mistakes. I respect myself, even when I've lost status or failed to achieve what I thought I should."

And then ...

3. GIVE YOURSELF ENCOURAGEMENT.

Now that might sound strange, but it's the same thing you probably did with your kids when they were learning to walk. You encouraged them. And you need to encourage yourself.

When my daughter was learning to walk, for example, she would take a step and stumble. She'd get back up; take two steps, then trip and fall. She'd take another step and fall backwards. And so on for the longest time.

Do you think I yelled at her when she stumbled? Of course not. I never said, "What are you doing? ... Get back up on your feet, young lady! ... How dumb can you be? ... Zimmermans don't stumble. We have more pride and dignity than that! ... Get up! ... No more of that falling-down stuff! ... You can do better!"

I didn't do that to my kids, and you didn't either. But the strange thing is ... that's how we often treat ourselves. We give ourselves disrespectful commands rather than encouragement. That's got to stop.

As a parent, you didn't wait for your kids to grow up and become successful before you loved them. You loved them every step of the way. Well ... it's time to apply the same lesson to yourself. Encourage yourself. Start by getting the audio version of my book, "PIVOT: How One Turn In Attitude Can Lead To Success" by going to http://www.drzimmerman.com/tools/productinfo/pivot.htm

And then ...

4. ELIMINATE NEGATIVE SELF-TALK.

There's an old proverb that says, "Be careful how you think. Your life is shaped by your thoughts."

True. Your thoughts determine your feelings, and your feelings determine your actions. So you've got to control the way you think ... or the way you talk to yourself.

And all of us are talking to ourselves all the time. In fact, some researchers estimate that we're talking to ourselves at the rate of 1300 words per minute, most of it unconscious, and much of it critical. We're telling ourselves, "These pants are getting so tight ... I'll never have any money ... I can't take any more griping from that customer ... and ... I won't get that promotion ... etc."

If you catch yourself doing negative self-talk, tell yourself forcefully, "Stop it. Now just stop it." And with repetition, you will stop thinking those self-limiting, confidence-destroying negatives.

Don't be like the young boy who came home from school and said, "Dad, I think I flunked my arithmetic test."

His Dad replied, "Don't say that. That's negative. Be positive."

The boy answered, "Okay, Dad, I'm positive I flunked my arithmetic test."

And finally, in your journey to greater confidence ...

5. QUIT TRYING TO PLEASE EVERYONE.

It's a dangerous way to live ... to be too concerned with what other people think about you ... because it allows them to control you. And that's not healthy.

But it's also a foolish way to live ... because you're going to fail. You're not going to please everybody ... no matter what you do. Even God can't please everybody, so it's foolish to think you can do what God can't.

Besides that, if you spend too much time trying to figure out what other people want you to become, and then try to become that kind of person, you forget who you really are. And there's no way you can be somebody else and have a healthy, confident self-esteem at the same time.

Helene Johnson commented on that. She's the Executive Director of Government Training Services and one of my customers for more than twenty years. When I asked for her advice on success, on what it takes to be truly successful, she said, "Be yourself, because everyone else is taken!" How profound.

You can't please everyone ... and you don't even need to.

You see ... there's a myth going around that says, "I must have the love, respect and appreciation of others to be happy." Not true. Rejection will NOT ruin your life. Oh sure, it will hurt. It's not fun. It's very uncomfortable, but rejection on the job or at home will not ruin your life unless you let it. As Eleanor Roosevelt so often said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

ACTION:

Focus on the area where you need the most improvement this week ... using too much negative self-talk or trying to please everyone. Try to go for an hour, then 6 hours, then a half day, and then a full day without falling into that bad habit.

Make it a great week!
Dr. Alan Zimmerman


©Dr. Alan R. Zimmerman, 20550 Lake Ridge Drive, Prior Lake, MN 55372. Reprinted with permission from Dr. Zimmerman's "Tuesday Tip," a weekly Internet newsletter. For your own personal subscription, go to http://www.drzimmerman.com/
Contact: Alan@DrZimmerman.com
Telephone: (800) 621-7881
web site: www.DrZimmerman.com

Tuesday's Tip February 10, 2009

Dr. Zimmerman’s TUESDAY TIP

Issue #452

Tip: "We exist temporarily through what we take, but we live forever through what we give."
Douglas M. Lawson, fundraising consultant and author.

What Dr. Alan Zimmerman Has To Say:

When I hear the same message over and over again, I pay attention. For example, in the Bible, hope is mentioned 185 times, faith 246 times, love 733 times, and giving 2285 times. Now that's significant. GIVING is one of the secrets of success.

Any yet much of the world is in economic turmoil because too many have been TAKING too much for too long.

The same goes for relationships. Relationships get in trouble when the people in those relationships focus more on what they can take than what they can give. Dr. Beatrice Berry talked about that at a convention where we were both speaking. She talked about getting married and divorced in the same year because her husband was such an abusive taker. In fact, the situation inspired her to write a country song entitled, "If I'd shot you when I met you, I'd be out of jail by now."

From my 30 years of teaching, speaking, and working with people, I'm convinced that the most successful people in business ... and the happiest people in life ... are givers. Instead of focusing on what's in it for them, they focus on how they can make a difference in the lives of their coworkers, customers, friends, and family members.

So what do givers give?

1. GIVERS GIVE ATTENTION.

It's the first thing they give. And it may be the most important.

They notice others. They acknowledge them. And they listen to them.

When I'm speaking on the topic of Creating Customer Service Champions," I emphasize and re-emphasize this point. If you're ever confronted by an upset customer, the very first thing you've got to do is pay close attention to what the customer is saying and not saying. It's the best chance you'll ever have of turning an upset customer into a loyal customer ... because you're saying ... loud and clear ... that YOU are IMPORTANT to ME.

(For an outline of my course on customer service champions, go to http://www.drzimmerman.com/keynotespeaker/speakingprograms/program09.htm)

One mother had to learn that lesson the hard way. After coming home from a long day at work, her little daughter ran out to greet her. She said, "Mommy, Mommy, wait until I tell you what happened today." After listening for a few seconds, her mother said she had to go and prepare dinner. Her daughter could tell her the rest of the story later.

At dinner, the phone rang; then the other family members told their stories. Once again the little girl tried to tell her story, but the kitchen needed to be cleaned up and her brother needed help with his homework. By then it was time for bed. When her mother came to tuck her in, the little girl looked up and asked, "Mommy, do you really love me, even when you don't have time to listen to me?"

And that's the same question everybody asks at work and at home: "If you don't GIVE me attention, how do I know if you really care?"

So how do you stack up on this point? Are you known as a person who gives attention? Or are you known as someone who is too self-absorbed?

It would be worth your while to pick up my audio CD on "The 3 Best Keys To Powerful, Positive, Productive Relationships... On and Off The Job" by going to http://www.drzimmerman.com/tools/productinfo/relationship-tele-seminar.htm

And then ...

2. GIVERS GIVE A CHANCE.

Ernest Hemingway talked about that in his short story, "The Capital of the World." The best thing you can give someone is a chance.

In the story, a father and son's relationship had gone awry, and the son left home. But after some time of grief and remorse, the father decided he wanted to heal the relationship. He went searching for his son Paco, looking everywhere in the city of Madrid, but couldn't find him. So he decided to put an ad in the newspaper that read, "Dear Paco, I love you. All is forgiven. Let's start over. Meet in front of the newspaper office tomorrow at noon." Signed, "Your father."

As Hemingway writes, the next day over 800 Paco's showed up ... all of them wanting a second chance, a new start, forgiveness, and acceptance.

It's all about making contact and then making changes. As family therapist Virginia Satir writes,
"I believe
The greatest gift
I can conceive of having
From anyone
is
to be seen by them,
to be understood
and
touched by them.
The greatest gift
I can give
is
to see, hear, understand
and to touch
another person.
When this is done
I feel
contact has been made."

You may have some Paco's in your life. Are you known as someone who gives people a second chance? Or are you known as someone who holds a grudge?

Which leads to ...

3. GIVERS GIVE LASTING CARE.

And even though "care" might sound a little too touchy-feely for some corporate people, there's a bottom-line benefit to this "caring" stuff. Research has shown that when you care ... you truly care about your customers ... two things happen: they buy more and they tell more people about you.

The reverse is also true. The number one reason a customer stops doing business with an organization is a perceived lack of caring. In fact, this perceived lack of caring accounts for 68% of your lost business.

Of course, your caring can't be temporary and intermittent. It's got to be continual and lasting. Dr. Martin Broken Leg, a professor at Augustana College, has found that a kid will stay in school if there is at least one adult in that school who shows a lasting sense of care ... and that adult could be a teacher, cook, or bus driver.

One of my "Tuesday Tip" subscribers, Debra Tschosik talked about the power of giving a sense of caring that lasts over time. She said, "My father passed away last spring. He was a kind, loving and gentle spirit. We grew up without many of the material things others had, but he provided a home warm in love and support."

What she didn't expect was how his caring would show up after his death. She said, "Last Sunday evening my mother called me and said she found a Valentine's card from my Dad. The card had been mailed to their home in 1994. Dad had asked the store clerk to write out the address so he could watch my mother bring in the mail and open this surprise from him. The card had a recorded message in my Dad's own voice that my Mom wanted me to hear."

"Dad's voice said, 'Hi Sweetheart, I can't thank your Mom enough for making me marry you (a joke since my grandparents had been opposed to the marriage) and giving me the two most wonderful daughters in the world. I love you and want to wish you a wonderful Valentine's Day.'"

As Debra went on to say, "In his wildest dreams, Dad could not have known the wonder and peace that loving message brought to our family years after he sent it. The truth is ... it only takes a small act of giving to generate warmth for years."

And finally ...

4. GIVERS GIVE HELP.

It's the ultimate win-win. You can't help somebody else without also helping yourself. As an old Chinese proverb states, "When I dig another out of trouble, the hole from which I lift him is the place where I bury my own." Or as I have often counseled others, the best way to get your mind off your loneliness is to reach out to others.

You've just got to make sure the other person actually wants your help. Such was the case with the truck driver who saw a priest at the side of the road. He stopped to pick up the priest and give him a ride. Down the road the truck driver saw a lawyer on the side of the road so he turned the truck on a direct course to hit him. Then he thought, "Oh no, I have a priest in the truck. I can't run down this lawyer." So at the last second he swerved to miss the lawyer. But the truck driver heard a thump outside of the truck. He looked in his rearview mirror but didn't see anything. He turned to the priest and said, "Sorry, Father, I just missed that lawyer at the side of the road." The priest replied, "Don't worry, son, I got him with my door."

Yeah, yeah, I know that wasn't very nice of me. But you get the point. Givers give help, but you've got to make sure it's help that's really wanted. And if it is, the benefits go both ways.

Michael Maceroni, a sales manager for UPS, learned that. He told me, "I was flying into Atlanta for a corporate sales workshop on a Sunday afternoon, and I don't like to leave my family on a weekend. Nonetheless, I decided to make the best of it, to be a giver regardless of any possible problems that might come my way, such as late departures, crowded airline seating, or grumpy attendants and passengers."

"It didn't take long to have my giving commitment tested. As I headed to the baggage area, I noticed a young mother, nearing her wit's end, with an unhappy toddler in tow. Deciding it was cold outside, the mother opened her suitcase to get out their coats, only to find her bottle of shampoo had bust open in her luggage and was covering the majority of her clothing. That pretty much sent the mother to the brink of tears."

"Being an expectant father myself, I couldn't stand there any longer. I approached the woman and asked if I could do anything to help. She declined, but as her daughter ran to the baggage carousel for the third time, and as her cell phone started ringing, she looked at me and asked if I could throw away the shampoo bottle. She then remarked she would probably throw away the coat as well as it wasn't useable in it's current condition. I immediately removed my coat and offered it to her, saying, 'Please take my coat.'"

"She profoundly refused, asking what would I wear on this cold evening. I explained to her that I had just landed from Detroit where I left -3 degree weather and the idea of wearing a jacket in 55 degree weather didn't appeal to me. I insisted she take my coat. She graciously accepted, slipped it on, gathered her child, re-packed her bags on the cart, and moved on with a big smile on her face."

As Michael finished telling me in his letter, "Once again I learned what unconditional giving does for the heart and soul." He learned the lesson that Heda Bejar taught years ago, that "The fragrance always remains in the hand that gives the rose."

ACTION:

If you asked the 10 people who know you best, would they say you're more of a giver or more of a taker?

Make it a great week!
Dr. Alan Zimmerman


©Dr. Alan R. Zimmerman, 20550 Lake Ridge Drive, Prior Lake, MN 55372. Reprinted with permission from Dr. Zimmerman's "Tuesday Tip," a weekly Internet newsletter. For your own personal subscription, go to http://www.drzimmerman.com/
Contact: Alan@DrZimmerman.com
Telephone: (800) 621-7881
web site: www.DrZimmerman.com

Home Based Businesses, do they work?

To answer the headline’s question, yes and no. What kind of answer is that? There are several factors that go into a successful home based business. Understand that you are fighting the odds, over 90% of businesses fail in their first year. So how can your business be part of that less than 10% success rate? Four things:

1. Hard Work
2. Training, mentoring
3. Great marketing and selling systems
4. Capitol

Hard work. There is nothing that replaces doing the job. Most business opportunities talk about a life style next to none, work just a few hours a week, when you want, in your pajamas and you will be driving an expensive sports, or luxury car and live in a 4,000 + square foot home. Remember that is a dream they are selling, not the real deal.

True you can set your own hours. But you must discipline yourself to work during those work hours. You should also dress up to go to work and have a place set aside in your home to work from, and not from the sofa or easy chair, but up to the table or at a desk. That would put your mind in the right mind set, you are working.

Training and mentoring – someone who has been there before can make a good guide. A mentor answers questions and helps to get through all the pitfalls that can defeat your business before it begins. Training is also important. Training on anything that helps make you better at what you are doing can help. Internet, word processing, web building, blogging, etc.

Marketing and selling systems. Your product or service will do no one any good if you can not get the word out to the people who need it.

Capitol. Starting with little or no capital is tough, but it can be done. Review and research any business opportunity and make sure the claims are true.

I’ve started with a program that does all the above, trains and mentors, has a great marketing and selling system, and you can start with little to no capital, however if you invest more the better your chance of succeeding will be.

Visit http://deansturnkey.cjb.net/for my turnkey business opportunities. It provides everything discussed. Check it out today.

Buyers buy from people they like.

Dr. Zimmerman’s TUESDAY TIP

February 3, 2009
Issue #451

Tip: Buyers buy from people they like.



What Dr. Alan Zimmerman Has To Say:

Now that might sound unfair. It may sound like the "good old boy" system at work.

I disagree. I believe it's everyone's right to do business with whomever they choose. It's their money, and they can spend it wherever and with whomever they wish.

And as master sales trainer Bill Lee notes, "If 99.9% of buyers do business with people they like, then your skill level at getting your prospects to like you better than they like your competitor is certainly as important ... if not more important ... than all of the other skills a top producing salesperson must possess."

He's right. And I think Bill's point could be applied to all your relationships ... with prospects, customers, colleagues, and even your family members. The more they like you, the more profitable the relationship.

Unfortunately, not all men and women are very likeable. Mrs. Willencott felt that way about her husband. But she was also very frugal. When her husband died, she asked the newspaper how much it would cost for a death notice.

"Two dollars for five words." she was told.

"Can I pay for just two words?" she asked, "Willencott dead."

"No, five words is the minimum."

Mrs. Willencott thought for a moment. "Okay then. How about this? 'Willencott dead. Cadillac for sale'."

Of course, to be fair, some men have felt the same way about their wives. Socrates commented on that thousands of years ago. He said, "By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." Or as Groucho Marx quipped, "I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."

With likability such a critical factor in all relationships, here are several things you can do to increase your likability.

1. BE TRUSTWORTHY.

Without trust, there can be no relationship. And the absolute bottom line on trust building is do what's right. If you ever mess that up, say you're sorry. And make amends.

2. COMMIT TO EXCELLENCE.

People like those who do their best and give their best ... not those who do just enough to get by. Don't cut corners. Go the extra mile.

3. GIVE WITHOUT ANY EXPECTATION OF A RETURN.

Everyone ... in every part of your life ... is asking the same question. "Do you care about me?"

And the best way they have of gauging their answer is to see what you do for them ... without expecting anything in return. You see ... there's so little unconditional giving in today's world ... that if you do that ... you immediately stand out from the crowd. They're bound to like you.

4. GIVE GENUINE COMPLIMENTS.

One of the most universal traits of mankind ... a trait so strong that it makes people do the things they do ... is the desire to feel important and be recognized. As a good salesperson knows, the more important he/she makes people feel, the more they'll respond to your goods and services. So applaud and compliment others when they deserve it.

The rule is ... the compliment must be sincere. Study your customer's business, for example, to find something they are doing better than similar companies you know about. You'll come across as a genuine, astute observer at the same time you make him feel ten feet tall.

I did that a while ago. I was thinking about the people who had the biggest, most positive impact on my life, and Dale Krammes came to mind. He was my radio and television teacher in high school many decades ago, but he was more than my teacher. He was an encourager who believed in me when I didn't believe in myself. So I wrote him a note to compliment him for going above and beyond the role of teacher and coach.

A few days later, I received a handwritten letter from Mr. Krammes ... a rare thing in today's world of e-mail. But he wrote, "It was a special treat to receive your note. Your kind words of appreciation were a delightful lift for a teacher who has become an old man of 87. I will treasure what you have written always."

5. USE THE 4-TO-1 RATIO.

Dr. Ken Blanchard, the author of "The One-Minute Manager," says it's not good enough to balance your praise and criticism. In one corporate study where criticizing and praising were actually tabulated and the reactions measured ... where there was one criticism for each praising ... people felt as though they had a totally negative relationship with the boss. When the ratio was changed to two praisings for each reprimand, people still thought their boss was all over them. It wasn't until they got to four praisings for each criticism that people began to feel as though they had good relationship with their boss.

As Blanchard concluded, "It's clear that if you don't start giving a lot of praise, the people you work around will begin to think of you as negative and unfair." In other words, they won't like you. So take a moment to be consciously aware of your ratio. Are you giving 4 times as many positive comments as negative ones?

6. USE THE SMILE FACTOR.

Smile when you talk ... even when you're on the phone. It changes the whole vocal tone of your voice as well as the look of your face. And most people just plain feel better when you're smiling at them.

Perhaps even more powerful than smiling at someone is to put a smile on his/her face. It increases your likability factor BIG time.

Shane Murphy talks about that in his book, "The Achievement Zone." He said a colleague was travelling back to Colorado Springs on an evening when a snowstorm delayed flights everywhere. He was seated in the Denver airport at 11:00 p.m., waiting until midnight for the connecting flight to Colorado Springs.

He and his fellow passengers were tired, grumpy, and frustrated. Everyone was late; luggage was lost; plans were in shambles.

A man approached passengers asking for a favor. "Good evening, I'm Carl, and I'm flying to the Springs to meet my fiancee, Marlene. I wonder if you would help me wish her a happy birthday?"

"She turns 50 today, and I have 50 red roses here. Would you please give her this rose and say 'Happy Birthday' as you leave the plane? It will be a big surprise for her."

People smiled and took a rose. They watched Carl repeat his request 50 times. By the time everyone had trooped aboard the plane, the atmosphere of fatigue and irritation had disappeared.

People were aware and interested. Before they had avoided eye contact, but now they spoke to each other and laughed about Carl's surprise. Everyone looked forward to meeting Marlene.

The plane touched down. The passengers let Carl get off first, and as they came out each one gave Marlene a rose and offered her heartfelt birthday greetings. Many gave Carl and Marlene a hug.

She was amazed, laughing, and repeating, "I don't believe this is happening!" The passengers left the airport with a warm glow, touched by Carl's gesture.

What did Carl do to restore everyone's energy and good mood? He gave them no energy pill, no money, no rousing speech.

Instead he gave them an inspiring and unifying reason to break out of their pattern of detachment and self-pity; he changed their mental focus from being disappointed to making someone happy.

Whether you're in a business ... or in a relationship ... all things being equal, the big prizes go to the ones who are liked the most.

So how likeable are you? Do you even like the way you talk and act and treat others? Just remember, the more likeable you are, the better you'll do in all parts of your life.

ACTION:

Pick 2 of 6 likability action to focus on this week.

Make it a great week!
Dr. Alan Zimmerman


©Dr. Alan R. Zimmerman, 20550 Lake Ridge Drive, Prior Lake, MN 55372. Reprinted with permission from Dr. Zimmerman's "Tuesday Tip," a weekly Internet newsletter. For your own personal subscription, go to http://www.drzimmerman.com/
Contact: Alan@DrZimmerman.com
Telephone: (800) 621-7881
web site: www.DrZimmerman.com

Dr. Zimmerman's TUESDAY TIP: "No person was ever honored for what he received. Honor has been the reward for what he gave." Calvin Coolidge, 30th U

January 27, 2009
Issue #450


What Dr. Alan Zimmerman Has To Say:

I've noticed that people fall into one of two categories: givers and takers.

I've also noticed that the takers are the unhappiest people on Earth. And it's no wonder. When their entire focus is on "What's In It For Me," they're bound to offend their coworkers, customers, friends, and family members and have problems with them.

By contrast, those who experience the most success in their businesses, their teams, and their families are givers.

So I ask you ... "Are you a giver or a taker?" Abigail Van Buren, the syndicated columnist, gives a great way to answer that question. She said, "The best index to a person's character is: a) how he treats people who can't do him any good, and b) how he treats people who can't fight back." A taker ONLY treats people well when he's out to get something from them. A giver treats people well ALL the time.

To be a bit more specific ...

1. TAKERS SELDOM THINK ABOUT OTHERS.

They're self-absorbed ... with their interests, their desires, their wants, and their needs.

They're kind of like the father who was asked by a young man if he could marry his daughter. The father asked, "Can you support a family?"

The young man said,"Yes."

"Good," replied the father. "There's six of us."

The father was a taker ... fixated on his needs. He didn't give a thought to the needs of his future son-in-law.

Do you know people like that? From their perspective, "It's All About ME."

Besides being selfish, they're non-listeners. When others talk, they daydream, think about their response, or simply wait for a pause in the conversation so they can change the subject to something they want to talk about.

Another man fell into that category of being a non-listener. He would get so busy with his work that he would forget everything else. So his wife got in the habit of writing him notes. One morning she wrote, "We're moving today."

When the man returned home from work, no one was there. He looked in the windows. Everything was gone, and then he remembered ... oh yeah, we've moved. But he had no idea where.

He sat on the curb and wondered what he should do. It was then that he saw a little girl passing by, and he called out, "Little girl, do you know the people who used to live here? Do you know where they moved to?"

The little girl said, "Come on, Daddy. Mamma said you wouldn't remember."

Of course we can laugh at these silly stories. But the sad truth is you may know some people like that ... who are takers ... who seldom think beyond themselves.

You may have a leader who seldom thinks about how the corporate changes will affect the staff or seldom asks for staff input. You may have coworkers who act like customers are an interruption of their work ... instead of being the main reason they do work. And you may have a family member who is so preoccupied with his TV programs that he fails to connect with the other family members. They're all takers.

By contrast, givers think ... they really think ... about others, and their thoughtfulness shows up in their behavior. One of my esteemed customers, Deb Wittenberg, the Manager of Learning & Development for the Digi-Key Corporation, is like that. When I asked her for her definition of success, she said, "It's all about 'paying it forward.' I feel successful when ... the way I behaved ...the way I spoke ... and the way I listened to someone's concerns ... affected another person's life in such a way that he or she made better, more positive decisions." Now that's a great definition of a giver.

The other thing that characterizes takers is the fact that ...

2. TAKERS ARE SELDOM SATISFIED WITH OTHERS.

They always want more ... even though they give very little in return.

Robert Orben joked about that. Said one parent, "I'm really concerned. Our kids are getting into so much trouble. I don't think the day-care center, nursery school, after-school program and babysitters are raising them right."

Takers are seldom satisfied. I see it in organizations all the time. I see it when a manager gives a performance review and says, "Overall, you've done a good job, BUT ..." I see it when a leader tells her organization, "We accomplished our goals this year, and that's great. But that's nothing compared to what you'll have to do this year." I see it when a father reviews his child's report card showing 4 A's and 1 B ... and then asks, "How come you got a B?"

All this taking behavior is demoralizing and demotivating. And if it goes on long enough, the recipient thinks, "What's the use of ever trying?" Maybe that's how God felt about one grandmother.

As the grandmother and her grandson walked on the beach, enjoying the seagulls and the view, a big wave suddenly came in and took the boy out to sea. She prayed to God, "Please bring him back. I'll do anything you ask. I'll buy him things, send him to college, discipline him more. Just send him back. Whatever you want, God, just send him back."

Instantly another wave delivered the boy back to the shoreline. She looked down at the boy, looked up to heaven, and said, "Hey, he had a hat."

If you're going to have a team that works, it's got to be filled with givers, not takers. If you're going to have loyal customers, you've got to have employees who care more about giving the customer what he needs than taking his money. And if you're going to have a personal relationship that works, both parties need to be givers.

The great actress Katherine Hepburn talked about that. She said, "Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get -- only what you are expecting to give -- which is everything."

I challenge you to be a giver ... to avoid the all too easy trap of being a taker. And then in my next "Tuesday Tip," I'll talk about what it takes to become a giver.

ACTION:

Do other people ever say you don't think enough about them and their needs? Do other people ever accuse you of never being satisfied with anything they do? If so, it's time for a behavior change.

Make it a great week!
Dr. Alan Zimmerman


©Dr. Alan R. Zimmerman, 20550 Lake Ridge Drive, Prior Lake, MN 55372. Reprinted with permission from Dr. Zimmerman's "Tuesday Tip," a weekly Internet newsletter. For your own personal subscription, go to http://www.drzimmerman.com/
Contact: Alan@DrZimmerman.com
Telephone: (800) 621-7881
web site: www.DrZimmerman.com

Dr. Zimmerman's TUESDAY TIP: "You have to think anyway, so why not think big?" -- Donald Trump

January 20, 2009
Issue #449

What Dr. Alan Zimmerman Has To Say:

He came from nowhere and ended up ... according to many ... being the "man of the century." He was born in a small Polish town, living a hard life in Nazi occupied Poland. His father was a retired army officer, but his mother died early, dying of kidney and heart failure, while his older brother died from scarlet fever. And yet he became Pope John Paul II, the 264th Pope in the history of the world ... and first non-Italian Pope in 456 years.

He was a most unlikely candidate for the head of the Roman Catholic Church. So you have to wonder, how did he rise to such prominence? And what leadership lessons can we learn from this global leader who moved the world?

In the book, "Psychology of the Hero Soul," Sharif Khan points to several lessons that we would all be wise to heed.

1. LEADERS ARE READERS.

By 1958, Karol Josef Wojtyla (later known as Pope John Paul II) was a professor of ethics and had two doctorate degrees. But he also studied philosophy and literature ... and was well recognized as a playwright and poet.

Interestingly enough, once he earned those degrees, he didn't stop reading. As a chaplain for university students in Krakow, Poland, he used to go on camping and kayaking trips with the students so he could counsel and mentor them. But even then, he would take an hour or more every day to get by himself, to read and reflect. Khan said, "These moments of solitude gave him a strong internal compass and the knowledge of self that is required of all great leaders."

So how do you stack up against this reading-and-reflection criterion? When I'm out speaking, training, and consulting, I notice that most people spend too much time ON THEIR WORK and too little time ON THEMSELVES.

A year from now, you'll be the same as today except for four things ... the books you read, the classes you take, the speeches you hear, and the people you meet. At the very least, I encourage you to read an hour a day. If you were to take an hour a day ... reading up on your field ... or any field you choose ... within a five-year period you would become an expert in your field. And people are hungering and thirsting for a leader with that kind of knowledge.

2. LEADERS ARE HUMBLE.

When Wojtyla was elected Pope in 1978, he refused the formal papal coronation in favor of a simple inauguration ceremony. And instead of speaking like the other popes prior to him, instead of using the royal "WE" term ... in other words referring to himself and God as one ... he spoke from his own simple "I" perspective. He wanted to be known as a servant leader and even chose the title of "Servus Servorum Dei" or "Servant of the Servants of God" rather than some CEO, Chairman of the Board, Commander in Chief, or Supreme Papal title.

If you are a leader or aspire to be one, you can learn from Wojtyla. Don't isolate yourself in the corner office or the ivory tower. Don't become more and more removed from your coworkers and customers with each new promotion, title, diploma, award, certificate or news clipping. Open your doors; let down your guard, and seek dialogue. As Khan pointed out, "Leadership by walking around ... and talking to people and listening to their needs ... earns respect and trust."

3. LEADERS HAVE HEART.

When Wojtyla returned to Poland in 1979 as the Pope, he risked his life against the totalitarian Communist regime. Instead of speaking in the vague generalities and political niceties that the Communists would accept, he spoke from the heart. He urged his people to stop crawling like animals. He encouraged them to walk tall and "be not afraid." The crowds went wild and a flame of rebellion and counter-revolution was lit in the collective consciousness of the Polish people. Wojtyla sparked the Solidarity movement for independence and freedom that eventually toppled the Communist regime.

Despite Wojtyla's enormous intellect, he knew intellect was not enough. He knew if he wanted to win over people, he had to let down his guard, push aside his formal clerical role, and speak from the heart.

Could the same be said about you? That you lead from the heart as well as the head? If you lead from the head alone, you'll be seen as a cold fish. And if you lead from the heart alone, you'll be seen as a ditz without any common sense. Neither extreme works.

For a more extensive look at how you can lead from both the head and the heart, get a copy of my e-book on "Leading Others" by going to http://www.drzimmerman.com/tools/productinfo/ebooks.htm#Lea

4. LEADERS ARE WILLING TO FORGIVE.

In 1983, Pope John Paul II met with Ali Agca in prison, the very man who tried to assassinate him just two years earlier. Despite several months of painful recovery, the Pope visited Agca in prison and offered forgiveness. And later, through his request, the Italian government granted clemency to Agca.

You see ... highly effective leaders know we are all fallible human beings, and we all make mistakes. And one mark of a true leader is his or her willingness to forgive. As Khan so clearly says, "While there's no excuse to keep someone who consistently fails to learn from their mistakes, the boss that fires an employee for making a big mistake is often mistaken for doing so. After all, there's always the risk that the next person hired could potentially make the same disastrous mistake."

By contrast, when you as a leader offer forgiveness to the employee who fouls up, that employee is unlikely to repeat the same mistake. And chances are, that employee will remain fiercely loyal to you.

5. LEADERS TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEIR ORGANIZATION.

Now this is a biggie ... and it's mighty rare. We live in an age where people seem to blame everyone for everything that happens in their lives. Executives take HUGE obscene bonus checks as they drive their companies into the ground, all the time saying it wasn't their fault. And employees say, "I just work here ... or ... That's not my responsibility."

But REAL leaders take responsibility. The day former U.S. President John F. Kennedy took full responsibility for the Bay of Pigs fiasco was the day he became a leader. The day in 2000 when Pope John Paul II apologized and took responsibility for the sins of the Catholic Church committed over the centuries was the day he became a truly respected global leader. And when he apologized and took responsibly for the sins of anti-Semitism committed by Christians, his stature went even higher.

You see ... blaming is the mark of the loser. As Khan says so well, "We can make excuses or we can make progress -- but we certainly can't do both." To be an uncommon leader, you must take full responsibility for your actions, your team, and ultimately the whole organization or cause you lead.

6. LEADERS STAND UP FOR WHAT THEY BELIEVE.

Pope John Paul II met with PLO leader Arafat, Soviet premier Gorbachev, and Cuban premier Castro. He met with the famous and the infamous, moving in circles and addressing issues that made him unpopular with some people.

But he was never one to back down. He stood up for what he believed. He had the courage of his convictions. And yet in some strange way, his inner toughness and steely resolve helped him break down walls and foster reconciliation.

Leadership is not about winning a popularity contest. It's about being strong, firm, resolute, and taking a stand. Khan concludes, "A divided mind is weak; a united mind, clear and singular in purpose, is powerful beyond measure."

One time John Paul II was asked if he feared retaliation from government officials. He replied, "I'm not afraid of them. They are afraid of me."

Indeed, he relayed a message that all leaders need to echo, perhaps more today than ever before, and that is "Be not afraid!"

ACTION:

Put the 6 characteristics of a leader on a piece of paper, and then ask all the people on your team to rate you on those 6 characteristics.

Make it a great week!
Dr. Alan Zimmerman


©Dr. Alan R. Zimmerman, 20550 Lake Ridge Drive, Prior Lake, MN 55372. Reprinted with permission from Dr. Zimmerman's "Tuesday Tip," a weekly Internet newsletter. For your own personal subscription, go to http://www.drzimmerman.com/
Contact: Alan@DrZimmerman.com
Telephone: (800) 621-7881
web site: www.DrZimmerman.com